Castlevanian Wizard
by Patricia de Lioncourt
Summary: A CastlevaniaHarry Potter crossover. Voldemort has come to close to capturing Harry. Dumbledore, calling upon a favor owed to him, requests that Dracula hide Harry within Castlevania for the summer. How will the poor young wizard cope?
1. Prologue

A/N- I know, I know! I have another Castlevania fic up here that isn't finished! Technically, I have two, but the other is an Abarat crossover (we'll not get into that!). However, this fic will be hilarious (in my opinion at the very least) and it will be a Harry Potter crossover. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer Buddy-- :sings: I don't own, I don't own, I don't own it! K-noamiiiiii owns it! Pleeeeeasee don't sue!

A/N II- Okay, enough of that.

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Prologue 

"Arise!" cried an old, but strong voice from the outside of his crypt.

Has it been a hundred years already? However, Dracula did as he was told to do. Pushing open the lid of his stone coffin, he sat up.

"I have risen! Fear me, ye humans! For I will bathe in thy blood and corrupt thou daughters! For I am the Prince of Evil, King of the Vampires!" he cried, as he usually did to scare the order of dark priests that gathered every hundred years to reawaken their "hero." This would've worked, if there had been any dark priests to scare. Instead of the usual gasps of fear and awe, there was a scoff from a young boy with messy black hair, a lightning bolt shaped scar, and emerald green eyes who was leaning against a nearby tree.

"Oh, please…" the boy said, looking causally over his shoulder. "You were quite right, Headmaster. He _is_ rather theatrical."

For the first time, Dracula noticed just who it had been who had summoned him. An old man with long white hair and a long white beard to match in purple robes stood before the outdoor coffin. His hands were clasped in front of him around the hilt of a dagger, and he was smiling quite pleasantly down at the vampire.

Dracula ran a hand through his long, white-blond hair and said, "Albus?"

"Why, hello, Vladimir," the old man said.

"Albus Dumbledore?" Dracula asked, still not quite believing his own preternatural eyes.

"Yes, Vlad. It's me. It's been a few years, hasn't it?" Dumbledore said. "Fifty, at the least."

The boy up against the tree had turned his attention back to the scene. He seemed mildly interested in the fact that the elder man he had apparently traveled with knew the self-proclaimed King of Vampires.

"How did you two meet, professor? If you don't mind me asking," the boy inquired politely.

"Not at all, Harry. Let's just say, I helped get him out of a mess with our Ministry of Magic, and now I'm calling in a favor," Dumbledore said.

"Who is this child?" Dracula asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not a child. I'm seventeen," Harry said defensively.

Dracula made no move to apologize, but instead looked up to Dumbledore for an answer.

"His name is Harry Potter, Vlad," Dumbledore said. "I believe you might have heard of him."

"The Harry Potter? The boy that's destined to kill Lord…oh, what's his name?"

"Voldemort," Harry answered harshly.

"That's it," Dracula said. "Now, about this favor you're calling in…"

"I need you to keep an eye on him this summer. Let him stay with you," Dumbledore said. "For all your killings, you're still safer than most people I could bunk him in with. Voldemort came too close this year in finding the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. We only nearly got the traitor. Castlevania, however, is the perfect hideaway. Voldemort will never suspect Harry here."

Harry, still leaning against the tree, shook his head.

"But you've only awoken me. You haven't raised Castlevania," Dracula said. "That's usually done first."

Dumbledore coughed and motioned with his eyes for Dracula to look behind him. The vampire did. Towering high into the clouds was Castlevania, the castle of Dracula.

"Huh," Dracula said. Hitting the edge of his coffin once for emphasis, he then pulled himself to his feet and stepped out onto the ground. He then looked at Dumbledore and added, "How _did_ you manage to raise both me _and_ Castlevania? I mean, we usually have an entire order of Dark Priests do it."

"Who's we?" Harry asked.

"Death and myself."

"Oh," Harry said sarcastically. "Death. Should've known that."

"Be _nice_, Harry," Dumbledore said. Turning his attention back, he said, "Those of you who follow the Dark Ways are always so overwritten. All I had to do is sacrifice a chicken and use the proper terminology."

"Chicken blood? I, the great Lord of Darkness, was brought back with…chicken blood?"

"You have no idea what it's like to watch the headmaster of your school sacrificing a chicken. I don't think I'll be sleeping well tonight. This is all with the fact that the castle is demon-infested," Harry said despairingly.

"How did you know that?" Dracula asked.

"My friend, Hermione, told me. She's read about it," Harry said.

"Well, Dumbledore, I would love to _protect_ this boy, but what about the Belmonts? They'll be sure to hunt me down," Dracula said.

"How will they know your up and about?" Harry asked, seemingly interested.

"I've asked myself that many a time. It's like they have an extra sense in their bodies. Taste, Touch, See, Hear, Smell, and Dracula's Awake," the Lord of Darkness said, waving his hand in the air.

"I've already informed them of the situation. They'll not bother you as long as Harry's here and unharmed," Dumbledore said.

Dracula shook his head. "Very well," he said. He turned to Harry, "Come, boy. Gather your things. I'll find a room for you."

The vampire turned, whirling his cape about him, and strode of into his castle. Harry picked up his long trunk, waved a quick good-bye to Dumbledore, and followed as best he could.

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"What am I supposed to _do_ here?" Harry asked, grunting as he lugged his trunk up yet another set of stairs.

Dracula paused and pushed open a door. A room, lavishly done in red and gold, was before him. A large canopy bed taking up most of the space. Harry pulled his trunk inside and set it at the foot of the bed. He bent to open it, to pull out things to make his room more homey, when a dull _thump_ was heard on the bed.

Dracula had tossed a brown, leather bound book there.

"It's a journal. You can chronicle your time here. _That's_ what you can _do_," he said. "Have a nice stay."

With another theatrical whirl, Dracula closed the bedroom door and was heard retreating up the hall.

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End Notes: There it is! I hope everyone likes it! Was it funny? Please R R and tell me! Btw, if you're also reading _Little Red Riding Hood_, I hope to update that soon! 


	2. Don't Ask, Don't Tell

A/N- I'm glad everyone liked that prologue. I was so worried I was going to get one of those reviews that said that Harry Potter and Castlevania should never be mixed. But I didn't! Yay me! Yay reviewers! Here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer- Oh, yeah, sorry I forgot, but Harry Potter obviously belongs to JK Rowling, not me. This disclaimer also applies to all chapters, including the prologue.

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Chapter 1- Don't Ask, Don't Tell 

_This is so stupid! Why am I here? A dark lord is after me and everything I hold dear, and where do they put me? In the hands of _another_ dark lord! I cannot believe this! Have I mentioned how stupid this is, putting me in the hands of Dracula? I mean…oh, yeah. By the way, Dear Journal, the date is June 25, and my name is Harry Potter. This journal was given to me by said dark lord. It's supposed to give me something to do. Yeah, let's see how long that lasts. Anyway, I'll stop my ranting here. I'm hungry and I don't know where to go to eat. Better get started early. I'm going to have to find my way around. Does Dracula even have food? Did Dumbledore even think of that? Probably not._

Harry closed the journal and sat back in the desk's chair. He threw the journal over his shoulder and heard it land on the bed with the same dull thump as before. Sighing, he began to look through the drawers in the desk. The very first drawer he opened--the top right one--had something in it. A rolled up, very old, piece of parchment with a note attached to it.

"You might need this," the note read.

Harry unfurled the parchment to find that it was a map of the castle. It didn't have any of the sections of the castle labeled, but it was a start. The Boy-Who-Lived stood, opened the door of his room, and ventured out into the hall.

It was very dark. The torches that lined the hall he had entered and every hall after that provided little light. Harry very nearly pulled out his wand to cast , but then he remembered that most things in this place probably hated light. Instead, he decided to satisfy himself with bumping off walls. 

------

By his count, it had been three whole hours since he had left his room in search of food. He had passed by several strange sights indeed. Flying bird women, floating swords, flying heads with snakes for hair, a strange two-headed monster, and many more. Finally, he found himself in something that the plaque on the wall by the entrance had called "The Catacombs."

He had headed for the lowest part of the castle, thinking that that's where the kitchens would be. Of course, he was judging this all on the layout of Hogwarts, a _completely_ different place. But he had indeed found the lowest part of the castle.

He was about to declare to himself that he was lost, when he found a peculiar doorway. He entered, thinking nothing of any danger that may lie within, and found the room beyond to be stranger still.

There was no floor. Not to say that he was floating, it was just that one could not see the floor. It was covered with bones. Skulls, ribs, you name it, the bone was there. Farther into the room, there was a giant golden statue of a grotesque monster that reached from the skeleton covered floor to the ornamented ceiling. Harry ventured even further into the room and jumped as the door to the room slammed shut behind him. He ran back to it only to find that it was locked tight. Suddenly, there was growl. Slowly, Harry turned.

The statue had moved, which made sense since it wasn't a statue at all! The creature was dressed in all golden armor and vaguely resembled an Egyptian god. It was also carrying a large scepter.

Harry's back was to the door.

_I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead…forget Voldemort, forget Dracula, something I don't even know is going to kill me. No way will a stunning spell hurt this thing! _Harry thought.

Abruptly, he was pushed forward by what felt like the door. A hand, which Harry caught sight of only slightly, pulled him around the partly open door and into the hall. The door shut again, and Harry collapsed to his knees in relief that he was safe. That was, until, the image he had caught of the hand that had saved him caught up with him. It had been a skeleton's hand!

He stood and turned to come face-to-face with a hooded, floating skeleton carrying a scythe.

_Oh, my God! I've gone from really bad to worse!_ Harry thought in a panic. Then, calming himself, he remembered something Dracula had said outside.

The Boy-Who-Lived looked up into the face of the skeleton and said, surprisingly calm, "Death, I presume?"

"Yes. Now, what are you doing down here?" Death replied.

"I was looking for something to eat," Harry said.

Death laughed. "Well, didn't find it, did we? Come along."

Harry fell into stride beside him. Death was leading him out of the Catacombs and back into the upper castle.

_Should've known_ _the kitchens would be up here_, Harry thought absentmindedly.

"So, what was that thing?" he asked.

Death glanced down at him, then replied, "His name is Galamoth. He used to be in the Reverse Castle, but Dracula wanted him moved here."

"Why would he want that?"

"Don't ask, you really don't want to know"

"Okay…so, then, what's the Reverse Castle?"

"Don't ask."

Harry shook his head, figuring out that he wouldn't get really information out of this one, and went silent. After quite a long walk and a few transporter trips, they arrived in a place Death called "The Castle Keep."

"Dracula likes to sit with his guest while they eat," Death explained. "You'll be dining tonight, and most likely every night, in the Throne Room."

"Why?"

"Don't ask."

Harry sighed exasperatedly. Death took him directly into the Throne Room where Dracula sat upon his throne.

"Yes?" the King of Vampires asked.

"The kid says he's hungry," Death said.

Dracula nodded, and Death disappeared. Harry turned to Dracula.

"Food?" the vampire asked.

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End Notes: Did you like this chapter? I hope so. Please review! Thanks! Oh, and, if you a fan of Harry Potter, Vampire Hunter D, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, AND Castlevania, please read mine and my friend's fanfic _The Concept of Good_. Our penname is QuillsandValium. See my bio for a link! Thanks again! 


	3. Food?

A/N- I'm glad that everyone likes this! Personally, I was fond of the rising…Anyhow, thanks for the reviews! Here's the next chapter!

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Chapter 2- Food? 

With a wave of Dracula's hand, a long, oaken table appeared, and it was completely laden with foods of all kinds. If Dracula was expecting Harry to be shocked or awed by this, he was very disappointed. Instead, Harry shook his head and took his seat at one end of the table.

"Our tables do this at Hogwarts," Harry said. "It's sort of a mirror effect the House Elves do. Does it work the same way here?"

Dracula chuckled and took a seat at the opposite end. "Yes. Only, I don't have House Elves."

Harry picked up his knife and fork and began to cut a piece off a nearby roasted bird, when he stopped. Dracula was just staring at him.

"Uhh…" Harry began nervously. "Do you…eat? You know, food? I mean, I don't want to be rude…"

Dracula gave another throaty chuckle. "It amazes me. You would rather be anywhere on this Earth but here, and you still find the time to be polite. That's diffidently a quality to hold on to. No, I do not eat. I simply sit here to make idle conversation with the few guests that I do have. And to make them uncomfortable," Dracula said.

Harry nodded and brought the piece of bird to his plate. Then, once the plate was filled, he began to eat. He ate slowly, glancing up every now and then at the vampire. It _was_ a bit unnerving to be stared at while you ate. Harry couldn't help but feel like he was a pig being fattened up for roasting.

"So…" Harry began again. "If you don't eat, why do you keep food here? For your guests?"

The Count sighed.

"Well, that's one of the reasons. To tell the truth of it, I just like the aroma of it. Except garlic. I do not keep garlic," he said.

"That makes sense," Harry stated.

Harry ate on in silence. Every so often, he would look up from his plate to find the vampire staring almost longingly at him. Finally, Dracula spoke.

"So, Harry, tell me about yourself," he said.

Harry finished off the final bite on his plate.

"What do you want to know?"

A loud warning alarm sounded within Harry's mind. Warning, warning, Dark Lord asking for background information. Could be dangerous. Warning, warning.

"Well, I know about the death of your parents and that prophecy saying that you will be the one to kill Voldemort, or vice versa. But…how has your childhood been? I mean, how are you coping with all this?" Dracula said, leaning forward a bit in his seat.

"What are you…a Dark Lord or my psychiatrist?" Harry said, raising an eyebrow.

Dracula shook his head. "Never mind. I was just trying to be considerate…"

Harry sighed. Great, a Dark Lord, a psychiatrist, and a whiner. What next?

"Fine. My life has been fine. Sure, I have sucky relatives and I lost the only person I could ever care for as a parent…but on the bright side, I've got great friends and I do reasonably well in school," Harry said.

Dracula smiled. "You seem to take all that life has thrown at you very well," he observed.

The young wizard shrugged. "Not at first. But I do eventually move on."

"My son tells me that's my problem…that if I could, move on, then so could he because then I wouldn't be evil. I don't think he gets it."

"You have a son?"

"Yes."

Harry was silent for a moment. Finally, he couldn't resist asking.

"What is it that you have to "move on" from?" he asked.

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End Notes: Okay, this is really short, but it does serve a purpose. Just not yet. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as funny as the last two, but there will be more funniness. Ah, the process of writing. Anyway, to explain why it has taken me so long to get back here, I've been a Star Wars kick lately. In fact, I'm planning a songfic to come out about the same time as this chapter does. And I finished up my Buffy the Vampire Slayer Harry Potter crossover. It'll have a sequel but I'm trying to finish some things up first. Anyway, I hope that you liked this chapter. Please R & R! Thanks! 


	4. Life Sucks

A/N- Sorry for the long wait, everyone! I'm back! Now, I can't promise this chapter to be as funny as some of the others, but I'll try. Enjoy!

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Chapter 3- Life Sucks 

"Well, believe it or not," Dracula said as he leaned back in his chair, an almost longing grin appearing on his pale features, "I used to be human."

"I know. You were called…the Impala or something?" Harry said, trying desperately to recall the lecture Hermione had given him before departing with Dumbledore. He really must start listening to her…he might learn something!

"The Impaler! An Impala is a vehicle!" Dracula shouted indignantly. He sighed, then, in a much calmer voice, he continued, "You young ones know nothing today." He sighed again. "But I mean, before that. I was a vampire even then."

"You mean you used to rule an entire kingdom and you were still the evil undead? How'd you pull that off?"

Dracula smiled, pleased with himself. "It wasn't always easy, my young companion, but I did it. Yes, well, as I said, I come from long before that."

Harry wasn't intentionally interrupting, but he couldn't help from being curious. After all, how often did one get to interview the King of the Vampires about his life story? Or un-life story, as the case may be? The Boy-Who-Lived had to interrupt.

"So, when did your son come along? I take it you were a vampire then as well?" he asked.

"All that in good time. Now, do you want to hear my story or what?"

"Yeah."

"Then, hush. Now, once upon a time…"

"Good Lord…"

"Hush! I was a young man with an excellent career and a lovely young wife, of whom I loved with all my heart, body, and, most importantly, soul. I was a tactician in the Crusades, fighting on the side of the Holy Roman Church. Ha! Anyway, there was me and then my best friend…the most powerful, most noble Knight in the Army…Leon Belmont."

"Wait. Aren't the Belmonts against you?"

"All in good time! Tell me, do you interrupt your teachers regularly? Jeez. Anyway, while I was away, my wife had taken ill. She died before I could return to her side. Her loss was more than I could bear, and I soon found myself ill as well. Leon went back to the Crusades, leaving his fiancée behind. I was so angry!"

"At what?"

"Not what. Who. I was angry at God, for taking away my only reason for living and giving my friend a wonderful woman of whom he would marry and grow old with. It wasn't fair! And so, I made a deal with a local vampire lord by the name of Walter Bernhard. He liked hunters to come for him, said he enjoyed the "game." I told him that if he would kidnap Sara, Leon's fiancée, that Belmont would stop at nothing to get her back. All he had to give me in return was immortality."

"Wait! Hold on, just a minute! You did what!" Harry interrupted, almost jumping to his feet. "Let me see if I've got this, your life had taken some bad turns and instead of moving on, like your son suggests, you bring down all hell on your _best friend_?"

"Your point?"

Harry sighed, shaking his head. He stared in disbelief at the nonchalant expression gracing Dracula's features for a few moments. Finally, he said, "Continue, please."

"Well, to make a long story short, Walter had corrupted Sara with the curse of vampirism; Leon used her spirit to make the Vampire Killer, the whip the Belmonts use against me to this day; Leon killed Walter, I became a vampire, Leon fought with Death, and he swore vengeance on me. I'm sure that made his bloodline _very_ happy," Dracula said with a sardonic smile.

"And your son?"

"Ah, yes, well during my reign of terror as a vampire, I met a beautiful human woman. What astounded me the most about her was that she so resembled my beautiful Elizabetha, both in appearances and personality. I fell immediately in love with her. But our love was to be short-lived as well, as far as my personal timeline is considered. She was a healer in her village, a doctor of sorts I guess one could say. However, she employed the use of herbs to make her medicines. A few years after our son, Adrian--who mostly goes by Alucard--was born, she was accused of being a witch. They stoned her to death as Adrian watched."

"That's horrible!" Harry cried, his eyes wide with alarm.

"Yes. After that, he came to live with me. He even served me by fighting off, and killing, many hunters. Then, one evening, there came a Belmont to darken my doorstep. It was the first Belmont I had seen in years, and I was eager to fight the young woman. Yes!" Dracula said enthusiastically, seeing the vaguely shocked on Harry's face. "The first of Leon's bloodline to challenge the strength I had gained was a young woman. Her name was Sonya Belmont, and she is the reason my son no longer serves me. He fell in love with her, I believe. Though, I'm not entirely sure what happened there. Well, pretty much it's been the same thing every hundred years. Castlevania rises, I rise, and then a Belmont comes, defeats me, and I sleep until the next hundred years rolls around."

Signaling the end of his story, Dracula shrugged. Harry was quite for a moment, taking it all in. Finally, the Boy-Who-Lived spoke.

"So, it must get pretty monotonous," he said.

"Well, there are those few times when things get mixed up. Once, a dark priest that served me by the name of Shaft, tried to bring me back before a hundred years was up. To insure that he wouldn't be stopped, he possessed Richter Belmont. It would have worked except that Richter's sister-in-law and my son joined forces, so to speak, to stop me."

"Interesting..."

Silence followed this. Both Dracula and Harry were looking to their right. Both seemed determined not to stare to hard at the other. Finally, the Dark Prince spoke.

"Would you like a tour of my castle, Harry?"

Giving a small snort of laughter and a shrug, Harry smiled and said, "Sure, why not?"

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End Notes: I hope that was funny. I thought it was, mildly so. I hope I got the details in Drac's story right. Please R & R! Thanks! 


	5. Tour Group

A/N- Thanks for all the reviews! Here's the next chapter! Oh, I wasn't sure about her death, I was just going by the image in Symphony of the Night. It looks like they were throwing rocks.

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Chapter 4- Tour Group 

"Okay, so this is the Marble Gallery. I have a lot of portraits here. It's one of my favorite parts of the castle," Dracula said, striding about as Harry trailed behind.

"So, are you actually going to let me look, or is this some sort of game that you're playing?" Harry asked, huffing as tried to keep up with the vampire king.

"What do you mean?" Dracula asked, turning toward him.

Harry huffed a bit more before replying, "This is the sixth room you've breezed on by! I haven't been able to actually _see_ anything!"

The vampire king stared around and shrugged. "Very well. You may explore this room. I'll wait."

Harry rolled his eyes. "This one isn't all that interesting, really. Hermione would enjoy it. Let's move on."

Now it was Dracula's turn to roll his eyes. Sweeping his cape about him, he whirled and led the way forward. Finally, they reached the library. As soon as Harry had entered the large room, he laughed.

"What's so funny?" Dracula asked.

"Now, _this_ is Hermione's room," he said.

"Then would you like to move on?"

"No. Some of these books do look interesting. Some of them might even be useful to me."

Harry went further into the library, pulling a book off a shelf here and replacing one there. Dracula took a seat in a nearby chair and allowed Harry to wander out of his sight. The Boy-Who-Lived did not stray from safety for long. No sooner had Dracula watched him turn a corner, he heard a yelp. Harry dashed out, followed by one of the enchanted spell books that even Alucard had hated so much. Dracula stood and shooed away the books.

"You don't get many guests, do you?" Harry asked.

The Dark Prince shook his head. "Ready to move on?" he asked.

"Well, I'd really like to see further into this library."

"Then follow me."

They had gone through two sections of the library when a distinct scent hit Harry. Sniffing the air, he stopped.

"Do you smell that?" he asked.

Dracula stopped too. Smelling of the air as well, he turned up his nose. "What is that horrid smell? It's coming from the next room."

The odd duo followed their noses into the following room. There, with his back to the entrance, and them, was Death. Coming from seemingly him, there was a chewing noise.

"Death? What are you doing in here?" Dracula inquired.

Death whirled, hastily shoving something behind his back. "Nothing."

Harry peeked around the suspicious figure and gasped. "He's got pizza!"

"What! No, no I don't!" Death protested.

Dracula stepped around Death and recoiled. "It has garlic on it! How? How could you do this? You know vampires are allergic to garlic!"

"I'm sorry! It just…it just tastes so good! You wouldn't believe it!"

"And I wouldn't know, now, would I?"

Harry stood by and listened as Dracula gave an impassioned speech about betrayal. All over a pizza. Finally, as Harry's eyes were starting to droop, Dracula whirled toward him.

"We are going back to the throne room!" he announced, and before another thing could be said, he had swept his cape around him and Harry. When the cape fell back into place, they were in the Throne room.

"Cool. Kind of like aparating," Harry commented.

But Dracula was not listening.

"Pizza! Pizza! Did you see all that garlic on that…monstrosity!"

Harry scoffed. "You live _here_, and you're calling a _pizza_ a monstrosity?"

Seeing that he was to get no support from Harry, Dracula huffed and bade him good night.

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End Notes: Sorry about the long wait. I hope this was at least somewhat funny. Now, this isn't going to be a long story. I never intended it to be. We're actually half-way through it. 


	6. Interruption

A/N- Hey, sorry for the long wait, everyone. I've been busy with other fanfics and college and such. I'm sure everyone knows what that's like. Anyhow, since I've been away from here, I've started a forum for my fanfics. Now, occasionally, I'll put little spoilers or important info about a certain fic under its thread. So, drop by and check it out! Please enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 5- Interruption 

The following evening, Dracula was still unable to let go of the whole "pizza fiasco." Harry stared determinedly down at his food, trying his best to tune out the evil vampire lecturing on why the topping covered meal should never have been invented. He only stopped when he noticed Harry making a face on his plate.

"Weren't you taught to not play with your food and to pay attention when someone older is speaking to you?" Dracula huffed.

"Weren't you taught to let the little things go?" Harry shot back. Then, remembering the life story that the dark prince had shared with him, he laughed. "No, I guess not."

This resulted in blessed silence from the Vampire King. Harry finished his plate quickly, just in case Dracula finally decided to get rid of his "guest," and stood to leave. Dracula turned his head deliberately away, as if he did not notice the Boy-Who-Lived leaving. Harry shook his head in exasperation and went to his room.

Once he was there, he pulled out the journal Dracula had given him--forgotten for a time--and opened it. Taking out a quill and some ink, Harry ran the tip of the feather against his bottom lip, trying to think on what exactly to write. Finally, he dipped the quill and began:

_Dear Journal,_

_I've still yet to see any sense in Dumbledore's decision to put me here. I'm still alive and a human, so that's a plus. He gave me a tour last night of the castle, so he must trust me to some measure. I have no idea why that seems so important to me, but it does. I guess it's because that, while I'm here, my life is in _his _hands. _

_Overall, I can't complain. The food's good. Much better than Aunt Petunia's cooking. Of course, it doesn't beat Hogwarts's food, but that's partially because every so often I can't help but wonder who--or what--is making this meal. I'm willing to stake--no pun intended--my life on it that it isn't a house elf._

Harry picked up his quill, thinking on how to end this entry, when a loud crash above his head took his thoughts from the paper. He waited, listening to see if the crash had been just a one time thing. Perhaps something had fallen? However, when another loud crash sounded, Harry threw down the quill and bolted from his bedroom to the throne room.

There, with his back to Harry, was Dracula, his hand extended palm up.

"Wait! Just listen to me!" he said.

Standing across from him, sword unsheathed, was a fair-featured man with long, blond hair and dressed very much in the same fashion that Dracula was.

"Alucard, listen to me!" Dracula hissed.

"What lows you have sunk to, Father! Kidnapping this young boy from his home, and to what evil purpose?" the man replied.

"But I haven't been kidnapped!" Harry said, finding it momentarily unbelievable that he was actually coming to Dracula's defense.

Alucard's eyes blazed. Glaring upon his father, he snarled.

"What horrible torture have you put him through, to make him believe such a thing!"

"He speaks the truth, Son!" Dracula said, pulling no weapon against his son.

Alucard opened his mouth to reply, when suddenly Harry felt himself being pushed aside. Stumbling in the room was a man with short, dark hair and a whip at his side. He was breathing heavily.

"Wait!" he huffed. "Truth! Note!"

"Did he run up all those stairs?" Harry asked.

"Apparently," Dracula responded. Then, to himself, he muttered, "Stupid Belmont."

The Belmont stumbled over to Alucard and shoved a slip of parchment into his hand. Alucard, bewildered, began to read it. Meanwhile, the Belmont sat--collapsed--on the floor, catching his breath.

"He can't be entirely stupid. After all, he ran all this way to make sure you didn't get your ass kicked…again," Harry said, glancing sideways at Dracula, who shrugged in response.

Harry walked over to the Belmont. Bending over to talk face-to-face with him, he asked, "Can I get you some water or something?"

The Belmont shook his head, smiling. "No…thanks….I'm…fine….Lot of…stairs."

Alucard looked up from the note, still bewildered, if not more so. He sheathed his sword and handed the note back to the Belmont.

"I beg your forgiveness, Father. I was not made aware of the full situation," he said.

Dracula smiled. "That's quite okay. Will you be staying, my son? It's been such a long time since you've visited me."

Alucard looked for a moment as if he was going to say "yes." Then, glancing over at the Belmont still gasping for air, he replied, "I think not. I believe I will help this poor soul home."

"Very well. Good evening. I trust you know the way out?"

Alucard hoisted the Belmont onto his feet, one of his arms around his shoulders.

"Yes. Farewell."

Once they had left the throne room, Harry looked back at Dracula, who had taken a seat on his throne.

"Is it always like that around here?" he asked.

The Vampire King sighed and said, "No. Actually, things are more routine that that."

* * *

End Notes: Okay, what did you think? I know, that was all kind of--if not completely--random. However, it is my belief that comedy can be random. Anyhow, please review! 


	7. Arrival of a Dark Lord

A/N- Now, including this chapter, there are only three chapters of this fic left. Yeah, I know it's short, but…wait for it…I'll be doing a…:drum roll:…sequel by the name of "Wizarding Dhampire." Anyhow, I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 6- Arrival of aDark Lord 

"How dare you defy me, Harry Potter! I, who have given you shelter! I, who feed you! I, who have given you a place to sleep at night! What audacity is this!" Dracula screeched.

Harry shook his head and sighed. Then, staring out from over his hand of cards, he said, "Get a grip. It's only a Wild Card. Now, draw four."

Dracula grumbled as he did so, muttering such things as "not only do I have to draw, it's red now. I don't have any red," and "at least you're not making me draw twelve like the last time." Harry laughed at that last little murmur.

"That's what you get you square off with me! Remember that, O Mighty Dark Lord!"

Dracula scoffed, rearranged his hand, and then threw down a Wild Card of his own. "It is green now."

"Damn," Harry muttered. He only had one green card left.

Things had been quiet since Alucard and the Belmont had left. That had been two nights ago, and the night before this one had been Harry's birthday. Hermione had sent, in jest, this pack of Uno cards. The Boy-Who-Lived was quite sure his friend had never really intended him to use them, but they had come in handy.

Dracula had gotten the hang of the game fairly quickly, and then had set out to defeat Harry. It was now five to zero in Harry's favor. It made the young wizard feel a bit sorry for the Vampire King. He couldn't even win at a simple card game. He had thought to try and let him win, but Harry had been found out. Dracula had put up a big fuss that if he could not play fairly, than he would not play at all. So, now, in their sixth game, Harry smiled triumphantly.

"Uno," he said.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Dracula said, a multitude of cards still in his hand. "And I'll bet that no matter what I lay down, you'll still win somehow."

This was true. Harry's last card was a Wild Card. Dracula grudgingly set down a green two, and Harry laid down his card. Dracula cursed again and threw his hand down.

"I give up," he said.

"Well, that doesn't sound like you," Harry said, gathering the cards back into their box.

"Those with unlimited life are renowned for their patience. However, I guess the Fates have deemed it that I should never defeat you at this simple card game," Dracula said, standing. "Therefore, you should go eat. It is long past the time you usually take your dinner at."

Harry put the pack of cards in his pocket and nodded. However, as he stood, a bright flash of green light shown through a nearby window. The wizard and the vampire exchanged a quick glance, then both rushed to the window. Much to Harry's surprise and despair, the Dark Mark loomed just out of their reach. Looking down, he could see where Voldemort and his followers were having an easy time of passing through the castle. Harry whirled to face Dracula.

"Don't you have any type of security to keep him out?" Harry demanded.

Dracula looked down his nose at Harry and crossed his arms. "Is he evil?" he asked.

Harry's eyes widened in disbelief. "What kind of question is that! Of course, he's evil!"

"Well, we usually welcome that sort around here."

Harry sighed in aggravation, leaning on the windowsill. Dracula took his arm and said, "Come on. We'll go wait for him in the Throne Room."

"Wait for him? What do you mean, 'wait for him'?" Harry said, trying to stop the Vampire King from dragging him away, but it was no good.

"Don't worry, child. I won't let him have you. Trust me," Dracula said as he pulled Harry up a flight of stairs.

"Fine!" Harry said, pulling his arm away, but keeping up with Dracula of his own free will. "I'll trust you, but if I end up dead, I'm coming back to haunt you for the rest of eternity!"

"Fair enough."

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End Notes: Sorry for the shortness of the chapter. I hope it was funny, though. We'll get to see more of Voldemort in the next chapter, promise. Please review! 

Disclaimer the Second: I don't own Uno. That belongs to Mattel.


	8. Fight Castle

A/N- I'm glad everyone enjoyed Harry and Drac's Uno face-off. Now, all that is left of this fic is this chapter and the next. I hope everyone enjoys this.

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Chapter 7- Fight Castle

Dracula sat patiently upon his throne, his head resting on his right hand and one leg crossed over the other. Harry, however, was standing just past Dracula, facing the door to the throne room with his wand at the ready. Dracula raised an eyebrow at him.

"Put that silly thing away. You'll not need it. I told you that I would take care of this," he said.

"Sorry, but it makes me feel safer to have my wand out. So, if you don't mind, I'm just going to hold onto it," Harry shot back.

Dracula shrugged. "Suit yourself. But don't stand out in the open like that. You're a clear shot. Stand up here by me."

Harry relaxed a little, only to turn and stare at the Vampire King in confusion. "And why would I do that? You do know that it is in a prophecy that I'll defeat him…or vice versa, right?"

"Yes, I know. But, does that prophecy mention anything about help?"

"No."

"Does it mention that you absolutely can't have any help?"

"No."

"Then get up here, I'm trying to help you out!"

Harry blinked a couple of times, then went to stand on Dracula's right. No sooner had he done so, Lord Voldemort, flanked by two Death Eaters, came and stood before them. His wand was out and a gruesome smile was upon his snakelike features.

"I thank you, Lord Dracula, for making Potter such an easy target. _Avada_--" Voldemort began, raising his wand higher.

Harry prepared to dive out of the way, when Dracula moved to stand in front of him. Voldemort stopped the spell and lowered his wand, bewilderment etched all over his face.

"What is the meaning of this!" he hissed.

"I mean to challenge you. If I defeat you, well…I'll kill you. However, if you defeat me, you and Harry can battle it out. What do you say?" Dracula said.

"This is outrageous! No! I will not accept such a ridiculous challenge!" Voldemort screeched.

With that, Voldemort raised his wand once more, but this time, he finished the spell. "_Avada Kedavra_!"

It was aimed at Dracula, who was still in front of Harry. The Vampire King rolled his eyes and held up a hand. The core of the spell landed squarely in his palm and sizzled away, with no harm done. Harry peeked out from behind Dracula, a slight look of being impressed upon his face. Then, he stared out at Voldemort. The Dark Lord looked from Dracula to his wand, and then he folded his arms and said, "Alright. Let's talk."

…………………

Voldemort and Dracula had come to an agreement. They were going to fight, with certain rules in mind. Number one, Dracula could not kill Voldemort by feeding off of him. When the Dark Wizard had stated this, Dracula had scoffed, saying, "As if I wanted to."

Number two, Voldemort could stake Dracula at any point in the fight that he got leeway to do so. And finally, number three, the prize--with no quibbling whatsoever--was Harry Potter's life. Harry didn't really like that part of it, but he had figured out long ago that he had no real part in _this_ fight.

Now, Voldemort stood across the room from Dracula and Harry, conversing with his Death Eaters. Harry was facing Drac, his arms crossed and shaking his head.

"You know he won't stick to those rules," Harry said, his voice low.

"I know, but do you really believe that I, Dracula, Prince of Wallachia, King of the Vampires, would stick to such petty rules?" he replied, with a wave of a hand.

"Then why make them!" Harry said, outraged.

"Filler, my dear boy. So we could size each other up. I'll tell you, Harry. This might be the easiest fight I've ever had to fight in all of my life!"

"You've only fought Belmonts, your sons, and a few others!"

"So?"

Harry turned his back to him, sighing. "I'm dead. I'm so dead!"

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End Notes: Okay, next chapter you get to see the fight and the end of this fic! Now, as for its sequel, I'm unsure as to where to put. It can either go in the Harry Potter section or the Castlevanian section. What do you guys think? Where would you like it? Please review! 


	9. All Too Easy

A/N- This chapter is the last of this beloved little story. However, as I've stated in a previous chapter, it will have a sequel. The title of said sequel will be "Wizarding Dhampire." That ought to leave you in suspense! Now, please enjoy!

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Chapter 8- All Too Easy 

Harry sat, his legs crossed ankle over knee, on Dracula's throne. Meanwhile, the two Dark Lords that had taken it upon themselves to battle it out over Harry's life had each taken up position on opposite sides of the room. Voldemort was to Harry's right, while Dracula was at his left.

"Remember the rules, Voldemort," Dracula said, with a slight inclination of his head.

"I think you are the one that ought to be reminded of the rules, Dracula," Voldemort retorted, followed Dracula's example.

"Oh, Merlin," Harry muttered.

Dracula had told Harry that he did not need his wand…that this battle was not going to last long. The Boy-Who-Lived hoped that he had meant that in his favor. However, he had his wand out and hidden to the side of the throne…just in case.

Voldemort and Dracula each took a step back, then forward. Voldemort drew his wand while Dracula merely pulled his cloak closed. Harry had hidden his eyes. He did not want to witness this. He had an deep, hollow feeling in his gut that said that this was not going to end well. After a few moments of no noises of battle drifting to his ears, Harry peeked through his hand. At seeing what was before him, he dropped his hand and sighed exasperatedly.

Neither had moved. Voldemort still had his wand held high, and Dracula still had a hold on his cloak. Even the Death Eaters looked confused.

"Umm…Milord, what's wrong?" one Death Eater dared ask.

But Voldemort ignored him. Instead, his words were directed at his opponent.

"It is your move, Tepes," he hissed.

"No, I do believe it is yours," Dracula answered.

"I pulled my wand before you pulled your cloak."

"We did so at the same time. However, I moved forward first," the Vampire King said.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Harry muttered, slumping down in the throne. "We're going to be here for a while."

…………………

No less than five hours later…neither had moved! Both Dracula and Lord Voldemort simply kept saying that it was the other's move. Harry had allowed his wand to drop and was now fighting sleep. As for Voldemort's Death Eaters, they were _actually_ asleep. Finally, annoyed from fighting his own eyelids, Harry stood.

"Look, it doesn't matter who's turn it is! Are you evil or are you evil? Would someone please just try to kill each other or something!" he yelled, looking between the two Dark Lords.

For their part, they looked fairly shocked from this outburst. The sheer volume of Harry's voice had woken the Death Eaters, and they were now standing at attention again. Recovering first, Voldemort scoffed.

"You are quite eager to die, Potter," he said. "I would think that you would want your dark protector to go first so that he might have a better chance of winning. I don't believe you meant what you said."

"Damned right I did! I'm bored, your Death Eaters are bored, and frankly, I think the boredom is more likely to kill me before either of you two!" the Boy-Who-Lived shot back.

Voldemort scoffed again and turned his attention back to Dracula.

"I await your first move, Dracula," he said.

However, the Vampire King shook his head.

"You know, I do believe Harry had a point. I too grow weary of this. I've decided to end it," he said, matter-of-factly.

In less than a blink of an eye, Dracula vanished and reappeared behind Voldemort. The Death Eaters gasped as Voldemort turned to face him. But the Dark Wizard was too slow. When Dracula pulled back his cape, two, large black fireballs that were simply pulsing with heat energy materialized within it and were released. They collided with Voldemort, resulting in his semi-immediate death and agonizing screams. When the flames that had sprung up from his body finally died, nothing but ash was left.

Harry's jaw dropped almost to the floor, and his eyes were as wide as saucers. The Death Eaters were gasping and whispering feverishly amongst themselves. Dracula turned his back to them with a whirl of his cloak and stated, "All too easy."

The Death Eaters fell into a worried silence. Harry smiled and muttered, "Always so theatrical."

With a smile and a wink shot quickly in the direction of Harry, Dracula turned and addressed the followers of the deceased Lord Voldemort.

"I'm quite sure you've all realized by now that it would be very, very, undeniably stupid to challenge me if I could do _that_ to Voldemort," the Vampire King said, gesturing to the pile of ash. "However, if you all leave peacefully and go about your lives, I will not harm you."

Seeming to have made up their minds, they began to edge slowly toward the door. Dracula smiled.

"I trust you all noticed on the way up that there is an Apparition Barrier around my castle. If you want a quick way down, simply leave out of here, go down the stairs on the right side of the wall, take the small elevator, and then you shall find a trapdoor to the left that will substantially shorten the travel to the castle's base. Farewell," Dracula said.

Harry left his place standing before Dracula's throne as the Death Eaters scurried out of the room. As soon as the two doors shut, the vampire smiled mischievously, saying, "But that is a loooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggg drop."

Harry laughed as did Dracula. They laughed even harder as they heard the first Death Eater scream as they apparently stepped into Dracula's "shortcut." Finally, Harry shook his head and turned to his longtime host.

"I don't know how I could ever repay you," he said.

"Hmm," Dracula said. "Actually, you can simply say that you owe me a favor. A favor on which I _will_ eventually call upon."  
Harry laughed, but at the stern look from Dracula, he stopped.

"You're serious! Look, I didn't ask for you to do this! I'm not killing anyone for you! How can you be so selfish as to say I owe you a favor?" he said.

"Hey, I'm evil. And I won't ask you to kill anyone…or at least, I don't think I will. I'm not sure what I will need from you yet, to be honest. But, no matter. I shall go write to Dumbledore to retrieve you. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Potter," Dracula said, extending his hand.

Shaking his head, Harry shook it. "Yeah, whatever. You too."

With a smile--and another whirl of his cloak--Dracula strode from the room. Harry walked over to the throne and picked up his wand. It was all slowly sinking in. One Dark Lord had been trying to kill him. Another Dark Lord had saved him. And now, he was indebted--because he really couldn't argue with that fact--to the Dark Lord that had saved him.

"Out of the frying pan, into the fire," he muttered, leaving the throne room.

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End Notes: Well, the end. How did you all like it? I hope that it met expectations. It was very hard to write this little chapter. A part of me was like, "Yay! It's over!" and another part of me was like, "Waaah! It's over!" I really did like this story, but towards the end it just kept getting harder and harder to write. I guess that's why I'm glad it's over. As for it's sequel, it will be a while before it is began. You all have the title--see Author's Note above--and it will be placed here in the Castlevania section. (Hate to bust up a pair, right?) Anyhow, see you next time! Please review! 


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